What would you say if you knew the next phase in your life will be all about you?
Let's talk about transitions...
First, I’d like to welcome all of our followers and subscribers to the Fria community. This is a safe space to share and I’m sure we will have no shortage of topics to discuss as we embark on this midlife journey.
For this first post, I’m going to speak from my perspective as I go through The Change also known as Menopause. Honestly, it’s been a mixed bag. I know I’m transitioning from one stage of life to another, but there are days that this dance towards mature freedom feels like anything but. Did it ever occur to anyone else but me that we are in constant change and transition throughout our lives, but never make a big deal of it until we’re talking about aging?
We grow older by the day with each day we grace this life, but this life stage comes with monikers and experiences that just sound like old people problems. Lol. I mean, why is it called The Change? I changed from an infant to a toddler, no one made a fuss over that, it was a positive and welcomed transition. Then I changed from an adolescent to a teenager. I definitely went through some trauma with that one, but all I heard about was my promise and potential at that stage. I went from a girl to a woman when I got my period. That brought angst from my family, but again not considered negative and then I went from woman to mom. Positive, positive, positive!
So, why is going from an unsure, often self-loathing, totally apologetic, trying to get it right woman, to grown-ass, I got this woman - such a negative thing? Why are we so obsessed with not transitioning into midlife that we are willing to do anything and everything to be walking examples of “anti-aging?” When a caterpillar transitions into a butterfly, isn’t that a good thing? So, why are we so hard on ourselves and what’s so wrong with aging?
The most beautiful part of this mixed bag life stage for me is that while the symptoms and physical effects are uncomfortable, being confident and content with who I am as a woman, mother, grandmother, lover and all around rockstar is priceless. I have no desire to stay the same. I have no desire to anti-age. I respect my body, it’s flaws, its betrayals (these knees are not letting me drop it like it’s hot anymore!) and the places that are now squishy. I love me in all my splendor, naked or dressed, unapologetically for probably the first time in my life and the peace that comes from embracing this transition can’t be found anywhere else.
So mid-lifers, let’s take this journey by storm. Let’s hold on tight and ride this wave. Let’s be all we ever thought and never thought we could be because anything is possible. Let’s honor the temple we know as our body and cherish it for bringing us this far.
Change is good and transitions are necessary to get where we need to go. Don’t fear the crows feet or cracking joints. Smile, climb, explore, love, pursue pleasure and if you want to… eat the cake! It took a while to get to this stage, enjoy it because you made it! And don’t let anyone tell you you’re not in your prime. At whatever age and whatever stage, you are always in the best time of your life. Give yourself a high five, then go kick ass and take no prisoners. It’s your turn – do you, whatever that means and don’t ask permission. You don’t need it from anyone.
Every day has 24 hours no matter how old you are. Use every minute wisely and to the full. It’s our turn to reclaim our time. What are you going to do with yours?
Sheilisa McNeal, Co-founder/CEO, Fria